Those Pesky (and funny) Cousins

I had lunch today with two of my cousins, Karen and Pat. What a HOOT! A good time was definitely had by all. We had a wonderful time talking about family and friends and remembering those that are no longer with us.

THEY had sandwiches and FRIED okra. I had a salad and rosemary chicken! THEY shared a piece of chocolate something-or-the-other pie. I had one bite!

They went home smiling with full tummies. I was down another half-pound this morning.

We all went home happy to be family with one another. We are sorry the rest of the cousins missed this time with us. Let's all get together and do this some time. The reunion is coming up June 6, remember!!!

Number One Son called this afternoon and CHALLENGED me to "up my game." He had just ridden 18 miles on his bicycle and wanted to know what I was going to do to match or beat him. Of course, this was probably the first time that he has ridden this far and may well be the last time he rides this far (HA! Returned the challenge right back at ya!) so he had to make the most of it the one time he actually did it.

So I promptly went outside and pushed my lawn mower through foot-tall weeds for an hour. Yes, it was running!!!! But I didn't use the self-propelled part.

Let's see...1.5 hours on a bicycle for a 28-year-old compared to 1 hour behind a push mower in tall weeds for a 55-year-old (OK.....56-year-old)! Who do you think worked harder for their age?

As I told Karen & Pat, I don't seem to be getting as hungry as I usually do. The cravings have lessened quite a bit and this isn't as hard as it usually is.

Just wait, though. I am planning on taking Donna to Golden Pagoda this week and I may just lose ground on that one meal alone.

Maybe I should have had a piece of coconut pie today!

Oh Well!

Now, for being a good reader and sticking with me, here is your treat. Sit! Beg! Good Boy!

FARM KID IN THE ARMY

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope your are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed until nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, or wood to split. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but is is not so bad. There's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc. but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder those city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches" which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what we call "hand-to-hand" combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful, though. They break real easy. It ain't like fighting that ole' bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

Until next time....

Michael

Add a little humor to your life!

Rember how they used to have cartoons at the beginning of the movies (that cost you a whole $1.25 to see)? Well, I know that at times these comments can get boring. So....to reward you for sticking with me and reading everything, I am going to add a little humor to the end of each post. Believe me, it will be different each time and I think will be worth wading through what I have to say.

I'm still here and working on the weight.

I did manage to dump the cheese salad after I ate a few bites for breakfast. Hey! Cold pizza with red peppers, jalapenos and garlic bread is great for breakfast! Puts hair on your chest!!!

I took a bite of the chicken salad but it had a bit of a country "twang" to it and when I looked at it, it seemed to be growing hair. Can chicken salad grow hair? Anyway, I fed it to the dogs. At least they already have hair and probably won't grow feathers.

So for lunch I went to the fridge and reached for the cheese salad......and it wasn't there. I remembered putting it in the waste basket and even went so far as to look in. Yep. There it was. I was tempted but then I realized that I would have to confess here and that was a little too much even for me.

So, all the leftovers are now gone. Oh, well, back to eating right.

I have lost three more pounds. I am now down to 247.5. Almost back to where I was when I showed "Grandma" how much I loved her by eating as much of her food as I could.

I haven't been able to mow like I want to. I am out of gas and I just can not figure out where to get some more. Nobody sells lawnmower gas anymore. They just have car gas. Now isn't that something!!!

I have been eating better and less, though so that is a good thing. And in this beautiful weather, I am spending a lot of time with my bees so that is getting me SOME exercise.

The next two weekends I have jobs in Dallas that are both stressful and exhausting. I will exercise enough those two weekends to make up for the next month. The problem is that we basicly eat junk when we do those jobs. I'll try to do better.

Until next time....thanks for listening. I'd love to hear from some of you and I'd love to have a couple of you join me in my misery.....uhh.....efforts to get healthy.

Now....for the part that you have all been waiting for:

This is simply too much of a time-saver not to share it with you:

How to clean the toilet!

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid!

4. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash" and "rinse."

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean!!!

That's OK. You don't have to thank me!!!

Michael

The devistating effect of LEFTOVERS!!!

Look, just because you leave "Grandma's House" doesn't mean she stops having an effect on you.

Just to make sure that she "keeps you in her clutches", she sends you LEFTOVERS!!!

And she WILL know if you don't eat them.

Potato salad!

Pimento cheese spread!

Chicken salad spread!

Deviled Steak!

The only smart thing I did was refuse to bring home any evil deserts. With names like Death By Chocolate, you can imagine how good they tasted!!!

Anyway.....since we are now 4 days after Easter (we had our big meal on Saturday) and the food is getting a little old, of course I HAVE to eat it all up before it spoils!!!

So, while I have lost a couple of pounds, I have also been "visiting" Grandma's house for lunch.

And it's still good. At least it TASTES good!!!

I have managed to mow the lawn for an hour (one day).

So my goals for tomorrow:
1) Get rid of any leftover food in the fridge.
2) Get rid of any leftover food in the fridge without EATING IT!!!
3) Mow the lawn for an hour.
4) Take the trash out so I don't get the Pimento Cheese spread in the zip lock bag out the trash and eat it for lunch!

Well, you get the idea.

Here's to hoping I can get back to normal tomorrow!

Michael

Recess is over.

Just like Mrs. Hancocks gold bell with the black handle that every one of us first-graders wanted to ring when recess was over, my scale is telling me that I need to come back in from the playground and get to work.

I sure would like to have that bell. It would sure bring back lots of memories.

Now.....on to the task at hand.

A quick question:

How do you gain 8 pounds in 4 days?

Answer:

Go to Grandma's house for Easter!

Well, it's Grandma to my kids. It's really my mother's house.

Yep!!! I had done REAL well over the last week. I was down to 245.5 pounds. Then, off we go to Grandma's house. Food. More food. GOOD more food. And then we get to the desserts!

Needless to say, you DON'T want to offend Grandma by not eating. Eating as much as you can. For three days!

Now, I just need to NOT eat as much over the next several weeks as I DID eat over those three days. Why can't the calories come off like they go on?

Anyway...It's time to get back on the program.

I have been doing well by eating 300 calories for breakfast and 350 calories for lunch with 100 calories for morning snack and afternoon snack. That leaves 500 calories for supper. As long as I stay active during the day, I don't get too hungry. I have learned what my low blood sugar feels like so I keep some orange juice in the house to drink if I get real low.

Of course, I have been mowing about an hour a day to get ready for the beekeeping school (more on that in a later post) so I was getting my exercise in. I need to start that again.

So....recess is over.

Please join me as I once again do my best to make less of myself. If you want to join in, let me know. In the next couple of days, I'm going to talk more about what I am doing and how I'm going to do it. I'm hoping to have some of you share this "road" with me.

Until then....don't even think about the desserts at Grandma's house. If you have ever been there, you know what they are like. If you have never been to Grandma's house, you have never tasted food like she can make.

But don't think about it. Because if you do, you will probably put on a couple of pounds just thinking about it.

I know that's how it works for me!!!

Recess Time!!!!!

Well, at least I am calling it recess.

I am keeping two grandchildren for a few days and I realize that trying to stick to my diet....uhhh....."change my eating habits".....when they are here is not easy.

I can avoid chocolate milk when it is not in the house. It is amazing how fast the KIDS go through a half-gallon of chocolate milk. They must be getting plenty of calcium!!!

Not eating Goldfish and Animal Crackers and cookies and ice cream and.....well, you get the idea..... is easy when they are not in the house. But we HAVE to have them here for the KIDS!!!

So I am hereby declaring a recess. At least until after the kids have gone home.

And it may just take several days to "clean up" everything that is in the house that I shouldn't have or it will just haunt me for weeks!!!!

More in a few days.

Michael

The Roller Coaster Ride

I guess it's just too much to ask for an old man like me to understand....but why does weight lose have to be such a roller coaster ride?

Over the last week, I have gone from 250 to 252.5 (right where I started three weeks ago) down to 248. And the silly thing is that my weight seems to go up right after the days that I did "good" on my eating and I seem to go down after a "bad" day where I really enjoyed myself. (Isn't it terrible when "good" means I didn't enjoy myself and "bad" means I had fun?)

Anyway...I have had my ups and downs, but at least my downs are winning. This morning I was at 249 so that is 3.5 pounds since the "Grand ReOpening" of....what.....three weeks ago? That is sticking with my goal of a pound per week.

My big stumble is that I have not started exercising. I have a new exercise machine that I will tell you about but not just yet. That comes a little later when I can start using it. You'll understand later.

I seem to have my appetite under control. I don't HAVE to eat as much now. I don't have the cravings that were there a couple of weeks ago. I just pray that I can keep this up.

I also need to do a better job of posting here more often. It helps to have a place to "vent" and I appreciate any comments you have to make.

Please keep checking back. I also would like to have some of you challenge me and make this a lot more fun. I still have not had a suggestion for a prize for my contest. Help me come up with something.

Thanks for sharing with me.

Michael

The Buda Belly

Wanna know what is REALLY disgusting and helps MAKE me get stay on this "weight loss" thing? Bear in mind, this will probably paint a picture in your mind that you may never forget. Of YOURSELF, not me.

While visiting with my granddaughter Lucy (who just happens to have chosen to allow Stephen and Brigette to raise her) in Wisconsin for several days, I naturally had to go to the bathroom. They live in a small duplex (as is befitting a new youth minister and his family) and they have a tiny bathroom. To save space, they placed their full-length mirror behind the towel rack to hold it in place. This just happens to be just across from the commode. And since the bathroom is small, this mirror is approximately 24 inches from you as you sit and do your duty! I think you know where this is headed.

The first time you sit down to "make a deposit", you find yourself face-to-face with......yourself.

Now, sitting is NOT the most flattering position for exhibiting your normally covered mid-section. Standing is not great when you have an abundance of "love handles", but sitting just "accentuates" the obvious.

So, here I am, sitting, looking at....my......BUDA BELLY!

Thanks, Stephen and Brigette, for allowing me to see my belly button peaking out like a Joey on a mother kangaroo!!! Not a pretty sight!

Now, THAT MEMORY helps me out a lot!!!

I'm sorry for the "mental visual". I hope you can get over it and sleep at night.

*****

I'm also sorry for not posting last night. We had our Central Texas Beekeepers meeting (of which I am the president) and Matthew came down to video tape our speakers. We got in at 9:30 and spent part of the night visiting.

Anyway, yesterday morning the scale read 251. That's a total loss of 1.5 pounds. I guess I did OK Wednesday.

And this morning the scale read 250.

Buda is WORKING!!!!

More later!

Michael