Those Pesky (and funny) Cousins

I had lunch today with two of my cousins, Karen and Pat. What a HOOT! A good time was definitely had by all. We had a wonderful time talking about family and friends and remembering those that are no longer with us.

THEY had sandwiches and FRIED okra. I had a salad and rosemary chicken! THEY shared a piece of chocolate something-or-the-other pie. I had one bite!

They went home smiling with full tummies. I was down another half-pound this morning.

We all went home happy to be family with one another. We are sorry the rest of the cousins missed this time with us. Let's all get together and do this some time. The reunion is coming up June 6, remember!!!

Number One Son called this afternoon and CHALLENGED me to "up my game." He had just ridden 18 miles on his bicycle and wanted to know what I was going to do to match or beat him. Of course, this was probably the first time that he has ridden this far and may well be the last time he rides this far (HA! Returned the challenge right back at ya!) so he had to make the most of it the one time he actually did it.

So I promptly went outside and pushed my lawn mower through foot-tall weeds for an hour. Yes, it was running!!!! But I didn't use the self-propelled part.

Let's see...1.5 hours on a bicycle for a 28-year-old compared to 1 hour behind a push mower in tall weeds for a 55-year-old (OK.....56-year-old)! Who do you think worked harder for their age?

As I told Karen & Pat, I don't seem to be getting as hungry as I usually do. The cravings have lessened quite a bit and this isn't as hard as it usually is.

Just wait, though. I am planning on taking Donna to Golden Pagoda this week and I may just lose ground on that one meal alone.

Maybe I should have had a piece of coconut pie today!

Oh Well!

Now, for being a good reader and sticking with me, here is your treat. Sit! Beg! Good Boy!

FARM KID IN THE ARMY

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope your are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed until nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, or wood to split. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but is is not so bad. There's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc. but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder those city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches" which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what we call "hand-to-hand" combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful, though. They break real easy. It ain't like fighting that ole' bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

Until next time....

Michael

Add a little humor to your life!

Rember how they used to have cartoons at the beginning of the movies (that cost you a whole $1.25 to see)? Well, I know that at times these comments can get boring. So....to reward you for sticking with me and reading everything, I am going to add a little humor to the end of each post. Believe me, it will be different each time and I think will be worth wading through what I have to say.

I'm still here and working on the weight.

I did manage to dump the cheese salad after I ate a few bites for breakfast. Hey! Cold pizza with red peppers, jalapenos and garlic bread is great for breakfast! Puts hair on your chest!!!

I took a bite of the chicken salad but it had a bit of a country "twang" to it and when I looked at it, it seemed to be growing hair. Can chicken salad grow hair? Anyway, I fed it to the dogs. At least they already have hair and probably won't grow feathers.

So for lunch I went to the fridge and reached for the cheese salad......and it wasn't there. I remembered putting it in the waste basket and even went so far as to look in. Yep. There it was. I was tempted but then I realized that I would have to confess here and that was a little too much even for me.

So, all the leftovers are now gone. Oh, well, back to eating right.

I have lost three more pounds. I am now down to 247.5. Almost back to where I was when I showed "Grandma" how much I loved her by eating as much of her food as I could.

I haven't been able to mow like I want to. I am out of gas and I just can not figure out where to get some more. Nobody sells lawnmower gas anymore. They just have car gas. Now isn't that something!!!

I have been eating better and less, though so that is a good thing. And in this beautiful weather, I am spending a lot of time with my bees so that is getting me SOME exercise.

The next two weekends I have jobs in Dallas that are both stressful and exhausting. I will exercise enough those two weekends to make up for the next month. The problem is that we basicly eat junk when we do those jobs. I'll try to do better.

Until next time....thanks for listening. I'd love to hear from some of you and I'd love to have a couple of you join me in my misery.....uhh.....efforts to get healthy.

Now....for the part that you have all been waiting for:

This is simply too much of a time-saver not to share it with you:

How to clean the toilet!

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid!

4. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash" and "rinse."

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean!!!

That's OK. You don't have to thank me!!!

Michael

The devistating effect of LEFTOVERS!!!

Look, just because you leave "Grandma's House" doesn't mean she stops having an effect on you.

Just to make sure that she "keeps you in her clutches", she sends you LEFTOVERS!!!

And she WILL know if you don't eat them.

Potato salad!

Pimento cheese spread!

Chicken salad spread!

Deviled Steak!

The only smart thing I did was refuse to bring home any evil deserts. With names like Death By Chocolate, you can imagine how good they tasted!!!

Anyway.....since we are now 4 days after Easter (we had our big meal on Saturday) and the food is getting a little old, of course I HAVE to eat it all up before it spoils!!!

So, while I have lost a couple of pounds, I have also been "visiting" Grandma's house for lunch.

And it's still good. At least it TASTES good!!!

I have managed to mow the lawn for an hour (one day).

So my goals for tomorrow:
1) Get rid of any leftover food in the fridge.
2) Get rid of any leftover food in the fridge without EATING IT!!!
3) Mow the lawn for an hour.
4) Take the trash out so I don't get the Pimento Cheese spread in the zip lock bag out the trash and eat it for lunch!

Well, you get the idea.

Here's to hoping I can get back to normal tomorrow!

Michael

Recess is over.

Just like Mrs. Hancocks gold bell with the black handle that every one of us first-graders wanted to ring when recess was over, my scale is telling me that I need to come back in from the playground and get to work.

I sure would like to have that bell. It would sure bring back lots of memories.

Now.....on to the task at hand.

A quick question:

How do you gain 8 pounds in 4 days?

Answer:

Go to Grandma's house for Easter!

Well, it's Grandma to my kids. It's really my mother's house.

Yep!!! I had done REAL well over the last week. I was down to 245.5 pounds. Then, off we go to Grandma's house. Food. More food. GOOD more food. And then we get to the desserts!

Needless to say, you DON'T want to offend Grandma by not eating. Eating as much as you can. For three days!

Now, I just need to NOT eat as much over the next several weeks as I DID eat over those three days. Why can't the calories come off like they go on?

Anyway...It's time to get back on the program.

I have been doing well by eating 300 calories for breakfast and 350 calories for lunch with 100 calories for morning snack and afternoon snack. That leaves 500 calories for supper. As long as I stay active during the day, I don't get too hungry. I have learned what my low blood sugar feels like so I keep some orange juice in the house to drink if I get real low.

Of course, I have been mowing about an hour a day to get ready for the beekeeping school (more on that in a later post) so I was getting my exercise in. I need to start that again.

So....recess is over.

Please join me as I once again do my best to make less of myself. If you want to join in, let me know. In the next couple of days, I'm going to talk more about what I am doing and how I'm going to do it. I'm hoping to have some of you share this "road" with me.

Until then....don't even think about the desserts at Grandma's house. If you have ever been there, you know what they are like. If you have never been to Grandma's house, you have never tasted food like she can make.

But don't think about it. Because if you do, you will probably put on a couple of pounds just thinking about it.

I know that's how it works for me!!!

Recess Time!!!!!

Well, at least I am calling it recess.

I am keeping two grandchildren for a few days and I realize that trying to stick to my diet....uhhh....."change my eating habits".....when they are here is not easy.

I can avoid chocolate milk when it is not in the house. It is amazing how fast the KIDS go through a half-gallon of chocolate milk. They must be getting plenty of calcium!!!

Not eating Goldfish and Animal Crackers and cookies and ice cream and.....well, you get the idea..... is easy when they are not in the house. But we HAVE to have them here for the KIDS!!!

So I am hereby declaring a recess. At least until after the kids have gone home.

And it may just take several days to "clean up" everything that is in the house that I shouldn't have or it will just haunt me for weeks!!!!

More in a few days.

Michael

The Roller Coaster Ride

I guess it's just too much to ask for an old man like me to understand....but why does weight lose have to be such a roller coaster ride?

Over the last week, I have gone from 250 to 252.5 (right where I started three weeks ago) down to 248. And the silly thing is that my weight seems to go up right after the days that I did "good" on my eating and I seem to go down after a "bad" day where I really enjoyed myself. (Isn't it terrible when "good" means I didn't enjoy myself and "bad" means I had fun?)

Anyway...I have had my ups and downs, but at least my downs are winning. This morning I was at 249 so that is 3.5 pounds since the "Grand ReOpening" of....what.....three weeks ago? That is sticking with my goal of a pound per week.

My big stumble is that I have not started exercising. I have a new exercise machine that I will tell you about but not just yet. That comes a little later when I can start using it. You'll understand later.

I seem to have my appetite under control. I don't HAVE to eat as much now. I don't have the cravings that were there a couple of weeks ago. I just pray that I can keep this up.

I also need to do a better job of posting here more often. It helps to have a place to "vent" and I appreciate any comments you have to make.

Please keep checking back. I also would like to have some of you challenge me and make this a lot more fun. I still have not had a suggestion for a prize for my contest. Help me come up with something.

Thanks for sharing with me.

Michael

The Buda Belly

Wanna know what is REALLY disgusting and helps MAKE me get stay on this "weight loss" thing? Bear in mind, this will probably paint a picture in your mind that you may never forget. Of YOURSELF, not me.

While visiting with my granddaughter Lucy (who just happens to have chosen to allow Stephen and Brigette to raise her) in Wisconsin for several days, I naturally had to go to the bathroom. They live in a small duplex (as is befitting a new youth minister and his family) and they have a tiny bathroom. To save space, they placed their full-length mirror behind the towel rack to hold it in place. This just happens to be just across from the commode. And since the bathroom is small, this mirror is approximately 24 inches from you as you sit and do your duty! I think you know where this is headed.

The first time you sit down to "make a deposit", you find yourself face-to-face with......yourself.

Now, sitting is NOT the most flattering position for exhibiting your normally covered mid-section. Standing is not great when you have an abundance of "love handles", but sitting just "accentuates" the obvious.

So, here I am, sitting, looking at....my......BUDA BELLY!

Thanks, Stephen and Brigette, for allowing me to see my belly button peaking out like a Joey on a mother kangaroo!!! Not a pretty sight!

Now, THAT MEMORY helps me out a lot!!!

I'm sorry for the "mental visual". I hope you can get over it and sleep at night.

*****

I'm also sorry for not posting last night. We had our Central Texas Beekeepers meeting (of which I am the president) and Matthew came down to video tape our speakers. We got in at 9:30 and spent part of the night visiting.

Anyway, yesterday morning the scale read 251. That's a total loss of 1.5 pounds. I guess I did OK Wednesday.

And this morning the scale read 250.

Buda is WORKING!!!!

More later!

Michael

Day Two-Only 23,789 days of diet left!

Day Two.....only 23,789 days of diet left. That's over 65 years. Ya know....If I can live another 65 years by dieting every day.....I probably would DO that. I'd be 120 years old and I can live long enough to enter my second childhood and treat my kids the way they treated me when they were in their FIRST childhood.

Really, though, it is worth it. As I said last fall, almost all of my health issues would go away if I could lose 50 pounds. My goal is to reach around 185 pounds, but I would be happy with 200. So....I use the idea of being a drain on my children as one more reason to stick with what I am doing. The next time I get the munchies, I will think of Stephen and Matthew fighting in the back seat of our blue second-hand suburban on the way home from school. Instant loss of hunger! Thanks, guys!

The bubble on the scale was just to the left of center this morning, so that means I did lose just a little bit. Way to go, Me! Now if I can just keep it up.

I continue to learn. Donna fixed salmon croquettes for supper and I checked the can just for fun. A serving of salmon from the can is 90 calories. Ok, that's good, right? But that's not the whole story. A CAN of salmon (14.75 ounces) has 7 servings. That means that a serving of these croquettes is one and a half patties if the patties are the size of a half of a golf ball. Wow. I'm an old country boy. I'm used to eating a little more than that. Of course, maybe that's why I am the size that I am now!

I guess if everybody ate what the packages say is a serving, we would all be skinny simply because the servings are so small that I would call them survival rations!

Stay tuned. In the near future, we will explore a new exercise machine, a spreadsheet that helps me keep track of how much I eat, a reference to Buda, and plenty more picking on my kids!

Thanks for joining me on my journey. Remember, I invite you to share this experience with me, especially if YOU need to lose some weight. What do you have to lose, except some FAT!

Michael

Merry Christmas....uh....Happy New Year...uh....

Merry Christmas.....uh....Happy New Year....uh....well, I can pretend!!!!

Pretend that I started this blog right after January 1. Just because it is January 26....but who's counting?

Anyway, I guess it's time to get started again. So.....

WELCOME TO THE GRAND RE-OPENING OF MICHAEL'S "NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" BLOG!!!

I know...it's been a while and there are multitudes out there waiting to hear how I've lost umfphteen pounds while you were eating all you could over Christmas. ACTUALLY, I was the one eating all I could over Christmas. At least it seemed that way.

But each day is a new one and I am claiming TODAY as my new day and here-by proclaiming 2010 as the "Year of the Skinny-Ones-To-Be".

In case you didn't follow that...that means all of us that are eating everything on our plate because it would spoil before it got to the starving children in India are going to do our best to mentally package some of that food and (at least in our mind) do some good by "sending" it to THEM rather than eating it!!!

Ok....enough of the introductions. Back to the grindstone!

Today is Tuesday, January 26, 2010. Here is were I am:

5' 8" tall

252.5 pounds (that's around 52.5 pounds OVER my MOST realistic goal!)

I bought 46 inch jeans over Christmas but I can easily fit into 44's

I am shooting for 200 pounds by December 1. That's 5 pounds per month.

I have a Hershey's bar and a Mr. Goodbar in my desk drawer. If I am able to avoid them....I will have the Hershey's bar when I have lost 20 pounds and the Mr. Goodbar when I have lost 40 pounds.

I have cleaned out all of the things I could find that I have a hard time avoiding. How did I get rid of them? I ATE THEM!!

Well, not everything. Jimmy, the box of Reece's Peanut Butter Cups that were supposed to go into your stocking at Christmas are now in plastic bags in a plastic container filled with water and stuck away in the freezer. I KNOW where they are but it will take me some time to get them thawed and maybe I can get myself distracted before they thaw!!!

I am working on eating less and being more active. Gee, that's such an easy idea I'm surprised someone else hasn't come up with it before now!!!

Before on this blog, I listed EVERYTHING I ate. As my son Stephen said, that was probably TOO MUCH information. So now I am going to list my total calories for the day and my comments on that.

I am encouraging YOU to join in. I know several of you who need to join me. I'm not judging you, but YOU have commented to ME about how you need to get in better shape. YOU know who YOU are! What you do is up to you. But I could use your help and encouragement and if we do this together, we can all be healthier and live longer. In the next few days, I am going to announce a contest and we will see if we can get some participants. Please check back.

As for right now.....it's time to get started.

For breakfast.....Old Man's Oatmeal and an egg for protein. Together let's see how the day goes.

Thanks for joining me. I hope your in for the long haul and will help me enjoy the ride.

Michael

A "Bad" Week

I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life has been busy, as I will explain.

Thanks to the multitude of readers (Sara & Matthew!) who have been bugging me to keep up the post. There were days when I just couldn't and days when I just didn't. That's life but I have a new start today and will continue on until the next time I don't. (Now how's that for commitment!!!)

Early last week we heard that Donna's Uncle Bubba was not doing well. He has been going downhill and just 6 weeks ago they found cancer in his leg and other places. He passed away Friday. The visitation was Sunday evening and the funeral was Monday (yesterday).

Uncle Bubba was quite a man. You would never know it from looking at him, talking to him or even knowing him as family for 7 years. But he led a remarkable life.

He never finished high school. He went to Houston at 17 to do grunt work at a steel building company. Within about 10 years (I'm not too sure of the time line) he opened his own business and started selling and erecting steel buildings. After a period of time the business was very successful and he sold it for LOTS of money.

Knowing what companies like his needed, he started a business SUPPLYING the steel building companies with the supplies they needed. Another VERY successful company. He sold it around 7 years ago and "retired". The company that bought his business didn't treat their customers nor Uncle Bubbas old employees right so he opened a new business. In 6 years he now has offices in three states and is very successful again.

He was well respected by everyone in the business. His competition even flew their flag at half-mast when he died.

He lost a son in a car wreck 20 years ago. He has dedicated his wealth to helping youth. To show you his generosity and his wealth, he donated the funds for a new youth building at his church. They built it for over one million dollars. He didn't want anyone to know who donated the funds and he and his wife wouldn't even go to the dedication service.

He always said, "You can't out-give God". And I believe he tried. The pastor called him once to thank him for a specific donation. Uncle Bubba said, "Shoot! I gave you that yesterday and God has already doubled that on a business deal that I made this morning. Now I've got to figure out how to get rid of this money!"

At the funeral the pastor asked anyone who felt like Uncle Bubba had treated them like his own son to help them get started. Those at the back of the church said they counted around 75 hands up before they lost track.

Most people never knew how much he gave, not just in money but in inspiration.

This has hit the family hard because it was very sudden.

Needless to say, I won't make this post very funny. Suffice it to say that I lost most of my willpower over the last three days. We baked cookies on Sunday and I partook of WAY too many samples. We went to a family members house after the visitation on Sunday evening and I ate WAY too much pizza and chips (and dips and cheese and ......well, you get the idea).

Yesterday the funeral was in Houston with a luncheon meal afterwards. Then we drove to Brenham for the burial with another meal after that. I didn't hold back either time.

Then last night I decided that I had blown it anyway so....why not. I ate sandwiches (again) and had a couple of beers and the complementary peanuts.

So......when I got on the scale this morning, it read 250. Yep! Right back where I started. However, I know that it is all just "in transit" and will be "passing through" in the next couple of days. So it's back to the "old man grits" this morning and back on the bicycle.

Uncle Bubba's story (most of which I just learned this weekend) has inspired me to do better in my business and get a lot more focused. I plan on transferring that over to this diet and make it work.

Michael

The West, Texas Kolache Diet!

Well, I'm not sure how scientific it is, but I'm willing to give the old college try to the West, Texas Kolache Diet!

I was in Ft. Worth to shoot kids halloween pics at a country club on Sunday evening. I got through around 9 p.m. and was loading my car when it started raining. No, sorry, it wasn't rain. It was a WATERFALL! The last two trips up two flights of steps outside in the dark IN THE RAIN meant that I was wet. My equipment was wet. My shoes were sloshing. A TV fell down three steps and landed in the water and I just left it there in the rain for several minutes while I took the rest of the load up to the car. I still haven't plugged it in to see if it works.

I finally got everything thrown in the car and went an hour north to spend the night with Matthew.

Yesterday on the way home I stopped in West, Texas. That is just north of Waco on I-35 and they are known for their kolaches. In fact, while I was there I asked them if they had ever figured up how many pounds they have ADDED to the collective weight of all the people they have served pastries to. They just laughed.

Needless to say, I had one.

Ok......two.

(and a cookie)

Then when I get on the scale this morning, it reads 244. What? That's down 2 1/2 pounds.

I KNOW it can't be attributed to two days of heavy walking and probably not eating right. (I think I know how to hide that last sentence so Donna can't read it!) I KNOW it can't be hauling 6 loads of equipment up and down stairs in the rain. In a hurry!

It HAS to be those kolaches!!!!!

So the next time anyone goes through West, Texas, please stop and get me a couple of dozen kolaches. An assortment of flavors will do, but the pineapple and the blueberry are the ones that worked for me. I figure one pound per kolache and the half-pound goes to the cookie!!!

Seriously, the scale did read 244. I even got off and jiggled it a little bit to see what was wrong.

So I'm back on the routine again. Yogurt and granola for breakfast. Butter bean soup for lunch. A couple of handfuls of sunflower seeds for snack. We'll see what is for supper.

I feel much better and my clothes aren't quite as tight. Now I need to get back with the exercise. Stephen got a new bicycle and is riding it in Wisconsin. I guess I need to get my old one out and dust it off and ride with him. At least at the same time that he does.

More later as life goes on.

God Bless you!

Michael

Hello, Out There!!! Anybody Holding Me Accountable?

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Anybody listening?

Just checking!

I haven't posted in four days and NOBODY has emailed me and asked me, "What is going on?" Nobody has accused me of being a slacker! Nobody has called to see if I'm even alive!!!

The purpose of this BLOG and me laying my soul bare is to get support from those that love me.

Oh well. (Here comes the pity party) I guess I'm all alone in this world. I guess NOBODY loves me. Think I'll go eat some worms.

******

Sorry 'bout that. I couldn't help myself. I had to let some of my dramatic expression seep through.

It HAS been a busy three days. From picking up some used bee equipment that had been donated to the club on Wednesday morning to putting bees in my observation hive for Thursday and spending most of Wednesday afternoon cleaning up the donated equipment in the rain, it was a busy Wednesday. Then Thursday morning I went to Waller county to give a demonstration to 650 4th graders at their Ag Day and then came home and drove the load of donated equipment to the beekeepers meeting and auctioned it off. I got home around 10 that night.

Yesterday was a bit slower but I had blown my diet a little and was up about a pound and didn't want to admit that. It's a lot easier to admit it later when I'm back down than it is at the time.

So see, you SHOULD have called me on it! I expected more out of you. Now get back out there and tackle somebody!..... Uh.... Sorry. I'm not a football coach, am I?

Anyway....I DID blow it and got back up to 248 but I'm down to 246.5 again.

We went to Houston last night to see our niece Zoe dance at the half time of a football game. We ate with Danny/Katie/Caroline at Carabbas. EVERYBODY ELSE got something EVIL to eat. I ate a salad. Not bad....but just not the same.

But I AM back down to 246.5, so I guess it was worth it.

I GUESS!

Anyway....time to start again. Old Man Oatmeal for breakfast this morning and hopefully a salad for lunch. I have the Brenham 25th class reunion this evening so I have to watch myself at that.

Now that I have made a big deal out of nobody picking on me, I will tell you that I will be out of pocket for two days. I have to drive to Ft Worth tomorrow morning to shoot halloween pictures at a country club tomorrow night and I will be spending the night with Matthew. I'll continue this "thing" that I do starting Tuesday morning.

I WOULD like to see how many of you are checking in on me. If you get a chance, please email me. All you have to do is say "Me" and I can tell who it is by the email address. Probably. Maybe. I don't know. Some of you have some weird email addresses.

Until next time.....God Bless.

Michael

Warning! The following content may not be suitable for all folks!!!

Announcing!!! The New! The Amazing!! The SNOT RAG Diet!!!

That's right, folks! Now YOU can loose weight by using the Snot Rag Diet!

It works wonders! Simply send me $19.95 a month for three months and I will send you one of my old snot rags. It's easy to use and works with no additional exercise or food restrictions on your part.

You just suck on my old snot rag for a day and in no time you, too, will be losing weight every morning.

The process is simple. You wake up in the morning feeling like crud. You get up and spend the next half-hour over the sink while your natural responses causes you to spit up that unwanted weight right down the drain.

It's safe. It's all natural. No additives or chemicals involved.

And the pounds just flow out of your mouth like.....well....like greased snot!!!

BUT WAIT! There's more. If you are one of the first 15 people to respond to this offer, I will send you a second snot rag for free! That's right. Two snot rags for the price of one. When you stop sneezing and hacking, just suck on the second snot rag and you can start all over again.

Just think.....No effort weight lose. Just for sucking a snot rag.

BUT WAIT!! THERE'S MORE!!! Call within the next 15 minutes and we will send you a special personalized Zip Lock Bag just for you. You wouldn't want to let anyone else get YOUR snot rag!!! This personalized Zip Lock Bag will keep your Snot Rag fresh as the day I used them.

This offer won't last long and supplies are limited. So Hurry! Be the first on your block to own an original Snot Rag!

Express shipping available at an additional cost.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Good morning everyone. As you can tell, it has been a couple of wild days and I needed to get my creative juices out before they blew up like my nose has.

I finally went to the Doctor yesterday and he couldn't really find anything wrong. I've just been snotty sick for 8 days. So he gave me some medicines and is hoping that will make it better.

You know what they say: Doctors practice medicine. They practice and practice. They just never seem to get it right.

The good side is that the Snot Rag Diet DOES work. I am now at 245.5. That's 5 pounds and headed down.

I'm not going to review what I have eaten over the past few days. I'm not sure you feel like that right now especially after reading about the Snot Rag Diet. We'll start with a new slate ( uh...PLATE) tomorrow.

Please have a great day! I pray that God blesses you the way He has me!

Michael

I was a BAAAD Boy!!!

Chinese Food. That's my downfall. I could eat hot and spicy General Tsoe's Chicken cold for breakfast!!!! Fortunately, Donna likes Chinese food, too. Not as much as I do, but it's our favorite food.

Well, the Chinese Buffet in town has changed hands and everybody was talking about how much better it is now. So, we go check it out. And it is a buffet. I think you can tell where this is headed.

I actually didn't eat as much as I wanted, but I was pretty satisfied.

I guess I did ok throughout the day, though, because I was at 246.5 this morning.

Time to get outside and clean up the barn. I have bee stuff stacked everywhere and it looks like a trash pile. Then I have a class reunion to shoot tonight so I don't have a lot of time before I have to leave for that.

Tomorrow.

Michael

Wow! God put airconditioning outside!!!

Finally. Some cool weather. I love the cold. I know it means that things outside will be slowing down, but "for everything there is a season". I will miss being able to spend evenings outside and I will certainly miss working with the bees as much. But sleeping in the cold is one of my favorite activities.

Maybe the cold weather is a good sign of things to come. I was down again this morning. 247. That's 3 pounds in 10 days. It seems real slow for me on a daily basis but that is still ahead of what I want for an average.

Yesterday I had the "old man" oats for breakfast with 1/2 cup light yogurt and 1/2 peach. 250 calories.

Lunch was in a hurry since I worked bees in the morning and was late for an appointment in town so that was 3 pieces of supper sausage (150), a piece of cheese (110) and the other half of peach (50). A total of 310.

Afternoon was a "53 piece" snack. I get the "red skin" peanuts and after all 53 pieces are gone, you look down in the 1/4 cup container and see all of those pieces of skin and you think....."hey, that's technically part of my snack so you use your tongue to try to get them all out and then you act like Lucy on one of her episodes with Tennessee Ernie Ford where she is playing poor and uses her finger to try to dab up every little last piece of potato.

Supper was a "drive through" baked potato with bar-b-que and cheese. Probably 500 calories. That makes a total of 1060. Oh, ya, I forgot. Donna brought home a left-over piece of Red Velvet cake. I had three bites. I don't even want to think about how many calories were in THAT. I am proud, though, that I only ate three bites.

I didn't ride the bicycle but I did work with the bees for about three hours. That involve a lot of lifting and walking and I was pretty tired after that so I am counting that as my exercise.

Praise God for all that He has done for me!

More tomorrow.

Michael

A little progress

Well I guess I finally got the superglue out of the scale. It moved a little this morning. 247.5.

I did pretty good yesterday. Oats for breakfast. Plain. I felt like an old man eating his oats. It wasn't too bad. Maybe I AM an old man eating my oats! 160 calories.

Lunch was two cups of Donna's soup. 500 calories. (Yes, it's gone. There was some left but I gave it to the dogs. I guess we got our moneys worth out of that meal.)

I rode the bike for 15 minutes. No telemarketers and not too hard to make that time.

I worked the bees twice. Once to find queens and separate them and then later to install the new queens on three hives. Then I had to start over with three more hives. I'm headed down this morning to finish the second three. So there was a little exercise involved in that. It's too muddy to drive the car down so I had to walk and carry everything.

Supper was a bowl of chili and then a pancake and 2 pieces of bacon. That was quite a combination but that's the way it worked out. I estimate 500 calories.

I managed with no snack so that was good. Around 1200 calories for the day and feeling good.

Well, as my father used to say, "Daylight is burning" so I better get busy.

Onward to see what life is going to bring today. I'll fill you in later.

Michael

Finally! I found a good use for telemarketers!

Yesterday was a good day in life. Not so good a day in weight loss. Still at 248.5. Maybe the superglue is too strong.

I vowed to exercise more. So after a breakfast of cooked oats (it's still OK. Not as good as it was last week.) I climbed on the exercise bicycle. Headed to nowhere. Three minutes in and just about to hit the time warp in the upstairs bedroom when the phone rings. Stop riding and climb off and answer the phone. Some guy from Austin wants to know if I take care of my septic tank and if so what do I use! WHAT? I said, "Oh, for crying out loud" and hung up.

After I climbed back on the bicycle, I realized that it was like starting over. That two minutes was a nice rest and I was able to go another ten minutes. Soooo, I guess that telemarketers DO serve some purpose. Now if I can just schedule one to call at 5 minutes into my exercise, I can live with that.

Anyway, breakfast was 200 calories. Lunch was 1 1/2 cups of Donna's soup. Estimate 400 calories. I had a snack around 4 of "53 pieces" of peanuts. 160 calories.

In the evening I had to run to College Station to pick up some queens. No, I don't know any guys that dress up as women. And if I did I wouldn't tell you! These are real bee queens that I am going to use to "de-throne" some of the ladies in my hives that are being lazy. Now if we can just get some clear days without rain so I can perform the be-headings. On the way back I got really hungry so I ate another "53 pieces" of peanuts (I REALLY did count them out. They last longer that way.) so add another 160 calories.

Supper was 2 cups of Donna's soup. (It's getting on in age and if I don't eat it, it will just go to the dogs. Besides, as she was making it, she grabbed cayenne pepper instead of regular pepper and when she "shook" it in, the lid came off and it got REALLY spicy REALLY fast. Just the way I like it.) Estimate 500 calories.

I also rode the bicycle another 5 minutes in the afternoon. (Hey, you don't want to overdo it!)

So, 1400 calories for the day and 17 or so minutes on the bicycle.

Overall, except for not loosing much weight, this hasn't been so bad. I think my body is getting used to less calories because I'm not as hungry as I used to get. Of course, it may be that I'm not counting my calories correctly. But my aim is to get on the bicycle more often.

Oh, where are the telemarketers when you need them?

Not tonight, dear, I have the sniffles!

Sorry, folks, but I'm tired, I have a sore throat and the sniffles. I'm going to bed. Catch up tomorrow.

Michael

Little Bo Peep's Calories

Well, some of Little Bo Peep's calories found their way home and added that 1/2 pound back on. I was at 248.5 this morning. I thought I closed the gate so they couldn't get back in.

I blame it on Rod Leer. If you don't know Rod, he's my former boss who asked me to take photos at his parent's 50th anniversary yesterday. They had a good old fashioned polish Catholic brunch at church. As I left, he loaded my arms up with the most AWFUL kalotches and Cinnamon rolls and cheese rolls. I mean, they were just terrible. Just like MOST country cooking is. I HAD to take it. His sisters made it and I wasn't about to offend them by not accepting. And when I got home, I ate as much as I could so Donna wouldn't have to eat any of it.

So....I blame Rod for my gain.

Today I started with my usual breakfast at appx. 200 calories. Lunch was a salad (35 calories), a bowl of beans (150 calories), and a piece of cheese between two corn tortillas (200 calories). 385 calories.

For supper we had a skillet supper that Donna made with sliced up baked potatoes, some chopped up brisket and some kidney beans. I'm not sure but I estimate approximately 500 calories.

Total for the day is 1085. I did take a couple of bites of Rod's evil pastries, so I guess I can add 200.

The trouble is...I didn't exercise so I don't think I will make much progress in the morning.

More tomorrow.

Good Beans! Good Chili!!!

Great pot of beans. Of course....I cheated a little bit.

I seldom make a pot of beans that tastes the same time after time. I generally add sausage or meat or whatever else I can find in the refrigerator that sounds good.

At the same time, the beans that are made at the annual Chicken supper at my little home church are what I am used to as "beans" and are just what I want. Unfortunately I can't make mine taste like that. Sooo...at the chicken supper where they make 30 gallons of beans, I get them to save the juice that they would throw away. I put the juice in 1/2 gallon containers and freeze it. When I make beans, I cook the beans plain and then add the juice. Whalla! Chicken Supper beans that I like!

And, of course, since I don't know EXACTLY what they put in the bean juice and since it is liquid like water......I just figure it as water and CAN'T count the calories!!!

I guess I need to be in "creative writing".

Donna made some chili. It was as good as my beans.

I ate a half a bowl of each.

I paid for it later. My stomach was upset and I had to turn down a session in the hot tub so I could go to bed.

So my list for yesterday starts out with something Donna mentioned from work. One morning when you fix oatmeal, fix an extra portion. The next morning take the cold oatmeal and mix it with lite yogurt and some kind of fruit. It's really pretty good. Oats-70 calories. Yogurt-50 calories. 1 large peach-50 calories. Total 170 calories. And Very Good.

Mid morning snack-1/2 apple-35 calories.

Lunch- Sausage & Cheese. Estimate sausage at 150. Estimate cheese at 200. Misc (onion, peeper) at 30. Total for lunch at 380. Total for the day so far...585.

Afternoon snack-peanuts-170 calories. So far...755
.
Supper was the beans and chili. Beans (Actual beans) 35 calories. Bean juice-estimate at 100 calories. Chili-Estimate at 200 calories. Total for supper at 335 calories.

Total for the day....1090.

I must have missed something. Maybe I'm not counting or remembering very well, but I guess I'll have to leave it that way for now.

Today (Saturday) was kind of weird. I took photos at the Blinn Band Reunion so I started out with a quick breakfast of oatmeal and yogurt with 1/2 apple. Pretty good for the second day. 170 calories.

1/2 apple for snack. 35 calories. Daily total 210.

At lunch I was at the Blinn banquet and I ate very well. I mean....the food was good and I also ate correctly. Beef and Chicken fajitas with a small serving of refried beans and a small serving of rice. Lots of pico de gyo (sp). I estimate 600 calories. So far, 850 calories

I ate three cheese sticks when I got home. 250 calories. So far, 1100,

Supper was individual frozen pizzas. The box said 400 calories per serving. We topped it with pineapple. 25 calories. Total for supper 425 calories.

Total for the day...1425 calories.

Things are going great. I'm not that hungry and I have been fairly active. Donna and I walked a mile this afternoon in the cool weather and it felt great. I didn't exercise yesterday but I did shoot the Little Cub Cheerleaders in the rain and cold and wind. I squatted down quite a bit and my upper legs are sooooo sore today that I KNOW I exercised a little.

Now if I can just figure out how to get that superglue out of the scale, I bet I'll have lost 10 or 15 pounds at lest. We'll see in the morning!

Thanks for following me. I realize that all the "calories this" and "calories that" is not the most exciting thing to read about, but maybe you will enjoy drooling over my descriptions of all the food that I am preparing.

More tomorrow.

Michael